Or “What I Learned From Proposition 8″
I used to be an activist. In the third grade, I was incensed by the soccer players at recess who trampled the daffodils peeking their heads up through the dirty snow. I lobbied and lobbied and finally got the school to put up a little wire fence around the garden. I bullied my classmates who bullied other kids. In high school, I was going to single-handedly save the rainforest, protect the whales and end nuclear proliferation. My first bumper sticker said, “If You’re Not Outraged, You’re Not Paying Attention.” By the time I got to college I was burned out. I couldn’t raise the fire that I needed to march on the administration building or on the St. Paul capital.
I’ve been out of the political arena for almost 20 years. It took Proposition 8 to bring me back into the fray. I read, I blogged, and I rallied. I shouted at bigoted plumbers and ticked off my friends’ Facebook friends. And I burned out, again.
“Burned out” is the key phrase here – I was fueled by anger, I burned hot, and I was left in an exhausted emotional state, a pile of cold ashes. I wanted to be more involved but I couldn’t muster the energy. So I asked myself, “How do people do it? How do people stay involved in political and social movements without burning out?” And my answer came, I think, from our President Elect.
Like Martin Luther King, Jr. and John F. Kennedy before him, Barack Obama is driven by a vision of a better future. He is sustained by his hope. As the title says, the only thing I ever created out of my anger was a fight. Again, I asked myself, “What can sustain my energy to work for a better world?”
I think anger is important; it wakes me up to the fact that something is important to me. But anger is only a spark – I need an engine to drive me if I am going to stay involved. For me, I think that engine is compassion, or maybe love. I want justice in my personal life, in my community and in my world. I still want the bullies to back off, the whales left in peace and an end to senseless wars. I also want all Americans housed and fed. I want equal rights for all Americans, gay or straight, and I want fair trials for all those in custody, including those rounded up after September 11th. I want those things because I love. Because I feel compassion.
If I am going to stand up for social justice, I must return again and again to these core values. I am still angry, but I won’t let anger define me anymore. I will let it be the spark that lights the way for kindness, compassion and mindful action.
Posted under Activism, Personal Growth
This post was written by heather on December 19, 2008
Wow. Heather, this is beautiful. It reminds me of after the US attacked Iraq. It wasn’t until I was out of the country for a while, and away from the news that I had been reading online several times a day, that I realized how toxic it was for me to live in outrage. I love what you say about letting anger be the spark. It can be a powerful “igniter,” (guess that’s not a “real” word), but it’s not a healthy or productive place to live…
Well, I just discovered this blog, and I have to say that reading this post really resonated with me. I, too, have been an activist since I can remember, and by the time I was in my early 20′s I was totally burnt out.
Since then, my music and creative arts have been the venue for any type of activism. It’s a different perspective and one that is more nourishing to me, while I make a difference to others.
This path sometimes overlaps with the political, but politics is not my focus any longer. It’s great for those to whom it is their focus, and especially those who can maintain their compassion and centeredness. they are true gifts to our world.
The writings of Thich Naht Hanh, his engaged Buddhism and *being* peace, has impacted my life and way of interacting temendously. First, it has helped me in my own personal healing and rage, and second, I have noticed it has affected how my activism looks and feels.
Anyway, thanks for a great post and a great blog.